Divorce doesn’t carry the heavy stigma it used to. In fact, one UK study found that over a third of marriages are likely to end before their 20th anniversary. Of course, no one wants to go through such a long and often painful experience. If you’ve hit a divorce or you’re anticipating this difficult process, then there are certain things to bear in mind. Here are a few tips which should help you through it all. Nothing can solve the problem in an instant, but there are various things which can make it all much easier.
First of all, don’t force yourself to recover quickly. Losing a partner who you’ve shared your life with for so long is agonising. While we all get ticked off at our friends when they can’t stop moping, there’s nothing weak about it. Don’t bottle all the emotion up. Cry, scream and binge to your heart’s content. You’ll have to move on eventually, and grieving properly is an important part to this. I can’t tell you how long it will hurt, that varies from person to person. Here’s an interesting piece from Psychology Today which deals with the grieving process. It may offer some small consolation while you’re experiencing such turbulent emotions yourself.
When going through a divorce, there will be a lot of unhelpful input. Your ultra-progressive younger sister may tell you that it was a mistake getting married in the first place. Your mother might be begging you to patch things up with your ex. Through all of this, the people you should be caring for most are your kids. There’s a fair chance you can remember your parents divorcing. If not, then you can imagine how tough it is on children. Whatever happens, make sure your kids know that they’re loved, and that they had nothing to do with the schism. Explaining such a complex thing to kids isn’t easy, but they deserve to be included as much as possible. Here are some further pointers.
Finally, something on the practical side of things. Make sure you choose a professional and experienced counsel for legal assistance. There are dozens of stories about women who choose criminal attorneys to settle their divorce. Unless such a lawyer is extremely gifted, this almost always leads to a bad settlement for you. To make sure your financial situation recovers in the best way possible, hire a divorce lawyer. Have a look around for divorce lawyers to find a company that you feel comfortable with.
Hopefully these tips have made a little positive difference to your huge negative issue. You’ve probably been bombarded with different clichés intended to soothe your heartbreak. I won’t add to that irritating list excepting this: it’s not the end of the world. Regardless of how much you hurt, or the repercussions which are on their way, things will get better eventually. Different people prefer different routes towards recovery. Find a mantra or two that works for you, and carry it with you for as long as it takes.