When You Are Late For Something, The Universe Does Its Best to Ensure It
2014.04.23
Shame on you for being late. You've got poor time management skills. Or maybe, you've got a legitimate excuse. Maybe you had a stomach ache. Maybe you stepped in dog poop in your driveway. Either way, you're late, and now you're rushing. But guess what? The universe found out, and will stop at nothing to make sure you are really, really, really, really late.
Here are some all-too-familiar examples:
1. The light turns red too quickly, or it is broken.
We can't explain this one. You speed up to get past the traffic light only to find it turning amber and then red in a blink of an eye. The guy in front of you isn't in a hurry like you. They take their time to get there. You curse. You worry. You panic! You wait for it to turn green before you let pedal meet metal.
2. The car in front of you is driving at an incredible speed of 50km/h, a whole 40km/h less than the speed limit.
You are technically not allowed to blame people for adhering to the speed limit, but it somehow seems that the universe is against you driving any faster. So what does the universe do? It carefully selects the slowest driver on any lane for you to get stuck behind. You will not have this! You decide to cut them, only to find yourself stuck behind another slowie. You won't give up! You do it again, and discover the traffic light you were hoping to skip has turned red.
3. Then there's that unavoidable traffic jam.
So you should have checked Waze before you rushed out. But you didn't. It could have saved you a couple of minutes. To make up for it, you start cutting lanes like a maniac. But then the slow lane you left becomes the faster lane. In fact, every lane you've left has overtaken your. How is this possible?! Finally, after championing the highway shoulder, you succeed. You were reckless. You didn't hurt anyone. You were like in a movie. No, better: You were like Moses parting the sea. But oh boy, you don't ever want to do this again.
4. You arrive at your destination, but are unable to find a place to park.
Because everyone isn't you, and they've got better time management than you, all the good spots are taken. You drive all the way to the back, or bottom, or illegally squeeze your car into a make-shift parking spot.
You arrive late, or just in the nick of time. Life is good again. Until you meet the parking ticket clipped to your windshield.
Bonus: The universal reaction everyone has when they realize they are late:
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