10 Things You Are Doing Wrong When Planning Your Wedding
Congratulations! You're getting married. But before you have your happily ever after, you'll have to deal with one more hurdle. And trust me, this one will be a test to your relationship. It is non other than planning your dreaded wedding day.
Now, don't get me wrong. I had lots of fun on my wedding day. But I very much prefer my life after the day had ended. I think I speak for most people, that they just can't wait for the whole damn day to be over.
So why call it dreaded? It isn't the Red Wedding. Nor is it the Purple Wedding. There are many reasons to this but the major one stems from your lack of planning, despite calling it "wedding planning" in the first place.
Here are ten things you are doing wrong when planning your own wedding. Hopefully, you never have to go through them.
1. Blow your budget
The first thing to do when planning for anything for that matter, is always setting a budget for yourself. Don't blow your budget. You don't want to be in debt after your wedding day. Couples argue the most about money, and we're guessing if this happens, you're going to have many nights stressing about the lack of funds because you wanted the most extravagant-everything at your wedding.
What to do:
Set out where your money is headed to. Here are the usual suspects:
- Wedding dress
- Venue, food and drinks
- Photographer / Videographer
- Decorations, favors, invites
- Entertainment
Allocate a max sum of money to each and ensure you don't go over the top with any of it.
2. You didn't appoint a project manager
I think I'm pretty good at multi-tasking. Heck, I'm doing two to three things at the same time right now. But planning a party shouldn't be the job of one single person. Appoint a project manager, or a wedding planner. It could be one that you have to pay for or a close friend to help you monitor the progress of the planning.
That said, ask for favors. Share the responsibility with others. You don't want to be worrying about these things on your big day.
3. You didn't follow-up
Just like at work, following up is a key trait you need to have. Has the order been delivered? Did the pitch go well? How would you know if you didn't follow-up?
Similarly in a wedding, you'll need to follow-up. A lot. Assuming your wedding takes a year to plan, followup every month on each task and repeat it weekly as the date gets closer. It never hurts to know the progress of things. You're certainly doing yourself a huge favor by doing this.
4. You created a sneaky way of inviting people
Here's a story from my life: I am friends with this guy, but not really close at all. I got his Facebook invite to attend his church solemnizing one day, and promptly accepted it, since I was free that day anyway. This happened a good 2 months before his wedding. Late, but not that late, right?
Then one day, I met up with another friend, who was closer to the guy than I was, and he told me I was given a wedding invite for his afternoon luncheon and that it was with him right now. This was the first time I heard I was invited to a wedding I don't recall saying yes to. Church, yes. But lunch? No.
I checked back the event on Facebook and found that he had updated his event page from Church to include lunch as well. What a sneaky S.O.B.
Furthermore, he broke a cardinal rule of wedding planning: He didn't follow up. Needless to say, I had to decline, and I also didn't like being ambushed into attending one I didn't plan on going.
As for this friend, by sneakily updating his event page, he broke another rule of wedding planning. No #5.
5. You over invited
There's a lot of reasons why you don't invite the whole province to your wedding. First, your wedding venue might not be able to accommodate everyone. Second, you don't even meet up with half of these people anyway. Third, how sure are you all can make it?
Let's say you aren't sure whether everyone can make it. Do you go ahead and book the venue for 800 people? Or do you wait and see if they RSVP back? You run a real risk of losing the venue, since other people with better wedding planning skills than you already know how many people they want to invite. Do not over invite.
6. You do things at the last minute
Everyone is guilty at doing some thing at the last minute. But when it comes to a party of such a scale, you are much better off doing it way ahead of time. Avoiding calculated "bumps", will assure you've got things handled. This way, you're better off focusing on looking good and happy during the wedding.
7. You're not on the same page with your partner
One of the problems with some wedding planning is, one partner always ends up doing more than the other. That's fine, to a certain extent. It's not fine when only one has to run around doing everything. Of course, there's a "project manager" of sorts, but there are some decisions you need to make as a couple.
For example, setting aside a budget is something you can't decide on your own. You shouldn't. The next is inviting guests. Are you sure you want your partner's long lost kindergarten friend to come? There are many more important examples, but the key point is to communicate with your partner on what's happening. Hey, you're getting married after all. Communication is vital!
8. Hoping the guests will cover your costs
Some people hope to turn a profit or hope that their guests will cover their wedding costs. I can't begin to express just what horrible financial planning this is.
While you may receive lots of money as a wedding gift from guests, you should never at any point, expect that to cover your costs. Be sure that the party you have planned can be paid for by you and your partner. It's a wedding day celebration. Not entry to the club, son.
9. Choosing the wrong vendors
There's a reason why brides spend so much time researching vendors for their wedding day online. They want the best. Or affordable-it-is-good-enough types. You don't want someone who doesn't have experience. Or is so cheap you hope and pray they take good pictures and that their camera from college still works better than your smartphone.
The point here is, even after researching, it's good practice to meet up with vendors, just to get a feel of their personality, and services. You don't want some cocky "award winning" photographer that takes really fantastic pictures and charges an arm and a leg but is the worst human being on planet Earth. Choose carefully.
10. Overreacting
If you've followed every advice so far, you've got no reason to overreact. But if you haven't, then just breathe. If up till this point you've still not gotten a hold on things, find some reliable friends to help you manage. It is last minute, no doubt, but it is also not bride-ly to run amok. You can't be a perfectionist. Don't let the little things sweat you. Come up with a last minute plan to run everything as good as can be and just go with the flow.
Because the last we check, overreacting brides don't make nice photographs:
There you have it! Are you ready to get back on track with all this wedding planning B.S.? Then great! Have a great one, and don't forget to enjoy yourself. After all, it is YOUR day.
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