The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies has a trailer out today and it is amazing. It may even be better than the Lord of the Rings sequels. Here's checking out the 26 things characters from LOTR could actually be saying instead in famous scenes:

1. It's on!

2. I've got supermodel hair. Commercial friendly too.

3. My intense stare looks deep into your soul.

4. Can't he take a joke?

5. I hate responsibility.

6. What the heck is everyone wearing?

7. If I go back empty handed, daddy's gonna spank me.

8. I'll pretend you didn't say that but I'll slowly turn my head.

9. And stare you down. Take that!

10. Why do I get stuck with sub-par villains as henchmen?

11. Gotta maintain perfect posture.

12. It's obvious you're not as good looking as me.

13. But who cares.

14. Too old for this shit.

15. Indulge in my bitchy resting face.

16. My beautiful hair and face is all I have to offer.

17. Crazy weed party is awes-balls.

18. I'm not a sore-loser.

19. Do it, bitch.

20. Leave all the dirty work to other people. #fuckresponsibility!

21. I lead such a boring life, don't exclude me from the fun mmkay?

22. But the rest of you guys at the back of me..!!!

23. LOTR in a nutshell: bad decisions.

24. It's because Elves know when one cheats. You don't want to piss an Elf off.

25. Everyone here isn't as good looking as me.

26. Damn, I love it when I speak the truth.

Watch the trailer here: