Are You Secretly Participating in These Real-Life Hunger Games?
2014.04.30
Life is only but a game we all play. And play to win we must! We're of
course talking about the hunger games. Not the Katniss Everdeen-type.
No, this game doesn't involve arrows or swords. The stakes are much
bigger: FACE VALUE!
CNN previously reported a pregnancy hunger games. If you're not familiar with this, it is the game where expectant mothers have to look beautiful at every trimester. If that's not enough, the game also extends past pregnancy: new moms face incredible pressure to get back into shape almost immediately after giving birth.
These pregnancy and post-pregnancy hunger games was fueled by famous examples like Kate Middleton, Jessica Alba, Fit Mom Maria Kang and more, the Pregnancy Hunger Games is really just one example of a silent game we're all participating in. In fact, there are more categories that involve everyone.
2. Make sure he/she gets all the nutrition required (you don't want to be a bad parent).
3. Train them to sleep early because that's what good parents are supposed to do.
4. Capture every moment possible (for proof and sweet memories).
2. Humble brag about how you wished you could play with your baby more at night but he/she HAS to sleep - hint, you're an amazing parent and people are going to ask you how you did it.
3. Humble brag about how your baby is eating so much that you've got to start breaking the bank to feed them.
4. Periodically post a picture of your child to prove how amazing he/she looks thanks to the feed and sleep routine you mastered.
2. Don't let another mommy friend beat you in breastfeeding their child longer than you (but it is totally OK if you can't. If so, this game isn't for you).
3. Make sure you eat a lot to replenish your supply.
2. Humble brag about how your baby just can't get enough of milk. They love it so much!!
3. Be thankful on Facebook by saying how it's been a breeze breastfeeding your baby. Everyone will ask how you did it.
2. Look for style inspirations from other dapper babies on a) Instagram b) Pinterest c) Google images.
3. Follow those examples.
2. Create an Instagram account for your dapper kid.
3. Delete yours if you can't handle two accounts, and get all your friends to follow your baby's Instagram's account.
4. Go broke for spending too much on stylish clothing that they will outgrow in a month.
5. Never wear the same outfit twice. Or rather: never Instagram the same outfit twice.
2. Get as many people possible to follow you on social media.
3. Continuously strive to be better than your previous self, in your career and in life.
4. Never be boring.
2. Humble brag about how everything in your life is pretty much awesome. Do it multiple times with multiple topics. You need to remind people how awesome you are.
3. Upload photos of your cool and fun experiences and make everyone envious of your exciting life.
2. Take lots of pictures (for proof and sweet memories).
3. Complain on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram about your cravings for Asian food in a European country.
4. Bring lots of trendy clothes, you don't want to look like a tourist.
How to play:
1. Humble brag about how you're going "back" to Melbourne for the 3rd time this year. Type "Yawn" at the end.
2. Don't forget to snap a photo of your boarding pass, but only Instagram, Facebook, and Tweet if it says "BUSINESS CLASS". Because you're baller like that.
3. Continuously make everyone on your friends list feel like they are on holiday with you too. Tagging works.
4. Talk about how this holiday reminds you of the "simple times" when riding a bike in New York made you feel so free of the world's problems. Sigh plenty.
5. When you get home, Facebook upload the rest of the 3,956 pictures you took.
To those secretly participating: may the odds forever be in your favor!
CNN previously reported a pregnancy hunger games. If you're not familiar with this, it is the game where expectant mothers have to look beautiful at every trimester. If that's not enough, the game also extends past pregnancy: new moms face incredible pressure to get back into shape almost immediately after giving birth.
These pregnancy and post-pregnancy hunger games was fueled by famous examples like Kate Middleton, Jessica Alba, Fit Mom Maria Kang and more, the Pregnancy Hunger Games is really just one example of a silent game we're all participating in. In fact, there are more categories that involve everyone.
1. "Baby development" hunger games
Rules:
1. Ensure your baby is of a brag-worthy healthy weight.2. Make sure he/she gets all the nutrition required (you don't want to be a bad parent).
3. Train them to sleep early because that's what good parents are supposed to do.
4. Capture every moment possible (for proof and sweet memories).
How to play:
1. Tell everyone on Facebook your baby's healthy weight but complain about how heavy they are and how the weight is breaking your back.2. Humble brag about how you wished you could play with your baby more at night but he/she HAS to sleep - hint, you're an amazing parent and people are going to ask you how you did it.
3. Humble brag about how your baby is eating so much that you've got to start breaking the bank to feed them.
4. Periodically post a picture of your child to prove how amazing he/she looks thanks to the feed and sleep routine you mastered.
2. "Breastfeeding" hunger games
Rules:
1. Exclusively breastfeed your baby.2. Don't let another mommy friend beat you in breastfeeding their child longer than you (but it is totally OK if you can't. If so, this game isn't for you).
3. Make sure you eat a lot to replenish your supply.
How to play:
1. Humble brag about how it is so tiring to breastfeed. Smile afterwards and thank God - on Facebook.2. Humble brag about how your baby just can't get enough of milk. They love it so much!!
3. Be thankful on Facebook by saying how it's been a breeze breastfeeding your baby. Everyone will ask how you did it.
3. "Dapper baby" hunger games
Rules:
1. Dress up your baby in trendy clothes.2. Look for style inspirations from other dapper babies on a) Instagram b) Pinterest c) Google images.
3. Follow those examples.
How to play:
1. Spend lots of money buying trendy clothes.2. Create an Instagram account for your dapper kid.
3. Delete yours if you can't handle two accounts, and get all your friends to follow your baby's Instagram's account.
4. Go broke for spending too much on stylish clothing that they will outgrow in a month.
5. Never wear the same outfit twice. Or rather: never Instagram the same outfit twice.
4. "Doing better in life" hunger games
Rules:
1. Live a very sociable life.2. Get as many people possible to follow you on social media.
3. Continuously strive to be better than your previous self, in your career and in life.
4. Never be boring.
How to play:
1. Humble brag about how your high paying job is sending you places most people don't get to go and that you are "missing home".2. Humble brag about how everything in your life is pretty much awesome. Do it multiple times with multiple topics. You need to remind people how awesome you are.
3. Upload photos of your cool and fun experiences and make everyone envious of your exciting life.
5. Holiday hunger games
Rules:
1. Travel a lot, every year.2. Take lots of pictures (for proof and sweet memories).
3. Complain on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram about your cravings for Asian food in a European country.
4. Bring lots of trendy clothes, you don't want to look like a tourist.
How to play:
1. Humble brag about how you're going "back" to Melbourne for the 3rd time this year. Type "Yawn" at the end.2. Don't forget to snap a photo of your boarding pass, but only Instagram, Facebook, and Tweet if it says "BUSINESS CLASS". Because you're baller like that.
3. Continuously make everyone on your friends list feel like they are on holiday with you too. Tagging works.
4. Talk about how this holiday reminds you of the "simple times" when riding a bike in New York made you feel so free of the world's problems. Sigh plenty.
5. When you get home, Facebook upload the rest of the 3,956 pictures you took.
But how does one win? Wait, there are no losers here, right?
While everyone will participate in some kind of hunger game at some point, not everyone will take them seriously. And it is a good thing some people don't care because life is hard as it is already. Of course, we can't help but point out the obvious: people will always compare their lives against others to see who's got it better.To those secretly participating: may the odds forever be in your favor!
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