New Age Dating Rules Scrap the 3-Day Rule
2013.12.11
Do you still follow dating 'rules' you read in magazines? For decades, written articles have dished dating rules for the changing times and the many different kinds of people out there, hoping to inspire and guide the 'clueless'.
This week in Nerve magazine, Dan Ozzi writes about how technology has rendered the "three-day rule" obsolete. This three-day rule says that you should wait three days before contacting a date, otherwise they'd think you're too eager to go out again.
The whole idea of dating "rules" takes all the fun out of the process. But here are some new rules written by Nina Bahadur you can look at, and decide if you want to follow them or not:
1. Contact your date when you feel like talking to them. There's nothing wrong with contacting someone you've gone out with when the mood strikes. (Though if you feel the need to be calling someone every hour, on the hour, there might be an issue.)
2. Don't play the "wait for the other person to make the first move" game. It will probably just make you miserable and neither of you will ever make a move. If you are a reasonably perceptive person, you should be able to tell when someone is interested in you and act accordingly.
3. A date isn't a job interview, so try not to act like it is. Don't interrogate your date, put them on the spot, or make them feel like you're judging them. Instead, try to listen to what they have to say and decide whether their thoughts are compatible with yours.
4. If you disagree with something your date says, express your opinion. There's no point of keeping quiet because you think it will make someone like you more. It is only guaranteed to make things worse down the road.
5. Try not to think of certain topics as "taboo." If big things like politics and religion are important to you and are subjects that you're naturally inclined to talk about, why not bring them up?
6. It's fine to have dealbreakers. Everyone does, and you shouldn't feel guilty about them. It's always better to know what yours are and own them.
7. Remember that the only thing you can control in a relationship is yourself. Period.
In the end, it's really about finding someone who clicks with you, who gets you, who doesn't want to change you. So be yourself, and be aware of your needs and wants - base your own dating rules on this, and you'll find your fit.
This week in Nerve magazine, Dan Ozzi writes about how technology has rendered the "three-day rule" obsolete. This three-day rule says that you should wait three days before contacting a date, otherwise they'd think you're too eager to go out again.
The whole idea of dating "rules" takes all the fun out of the process. But here are some new rules written by Nina Bahadur you can look at, and decide if you want to follow them or not:
1. Contact your date when you feel like talking to them. There's nothing wrong with contacting someone you've gone out with when the mood strikes. (Though if you feel the need to be calling someone every hour, on the hour, there might be an issue.)
2. Don't play the "wait for the other person to make the first move" game. It will probably just make you miserable and neither of you will ever make a move. If you are a reasonably perceptive person, you should be able to tell when someone is interested in you and act accordingly.
3. A date isn't a job interview, so try not to act like it is. Don't interrogate your date, put them on the spot, or make them feel like you're judging them. Instead, try to listen to what they have to say and decide whether their thoughts are compatible with yours.
4. If you disagree with something your date says, express your opinion. There's no point of keeping quiet because you think it will make someone like you more. It is only guaranteed to make things worse down the road.
5. Try not to think of certain topics as "taboo." If big things like politics and religion are important to you and are subjects that you're naturally inclined to talk about, why not bring them up?
6. It's fine to have dealbreakers. Everyone does, and you shouldn't feel guilty about them. It's always better to know what yours are and own them.
7. Remember that the only thing you can control in a relationship is yourself. Period.
In the end, it's really about finding someone who clicks with you, who gets you, who doesn't want to change you. So be yourself, and be aware of your needs and wants - base your own dating rules on this, and you'll find your fit.
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