[Hilaria's] heaving boobalicious look wasn't a hit with a rarefied crowd that included exiled Empress of Iran Farah Pahlavi, Dame Jillian Sackler and Sally Quinn, who's been dubbed "the Dowager Countess of Washington's elite social set."

"It was a serious room of collectors, mostly 60 and over," sniffed a guest, who did give brand-new mom Hilaria props for "standing for hours in her slinky dress."

But in a town of orators, Hilaria didn't win points either for addressing the crowd repeatedly as "you guys," or making them raise their hands to vote on whether beefy Baldwin should "get into yoga," witnesses tell us.